Segways, though.

Segways are dumb as fuck. They look like a pogo stick and Powerwheels got drunk and gave birth to a mentally challenged unicycle. The only people that own Segways and admit it are smug, self absorbed douche nozzles that enjoy the smell of their own farts mixed with patchouli oil. I’m sure the first guy that bought one thought he was hot shit until he actually drove that bitch and realized he looked like an inebriated four year old on a pissed off rocking horse. Seriously, it’s like roller blades… The idea was cool at first and all the sheep ran out and got them, but once all the cool kids started calling them “fruit boots” and beating the shit out of them with skateboards they realized exactly how fucking dumb they actually are.