What happened to hip-hop?

Mainstream rap/hip hop is dumber than hell and I’m gonna tell you why. Back in the day rap music was good because you could relate to it. In the 80’s, it was all about partying and having a good time. In the 90’s, it got raw and really delved into what life was like in low income, urban neighborhoods. Sure, a lot of dudes (read: most) were sort of glorifying the “gangster” lifestyle, but it was like a mark of pride that they were surviving their own culture. People could relate to that shit because, even if they weren’t an active participant in said activities, evidence of it could be seen everywhere in their day to day lives.

Then the 2000’s came along and everything went to shit. Turn on any given radio station in that genre right now and guaranteed you’re gonna hear a “song” about one of two things: Money or Women. Some would say, “Hey, that’s just rock and roll… sex, drugs, all that.” Yeah? BULLSHIT! At least back in the day, if you were gonna sing about fuckin’ some chick in a public bathroom, there would be symbolism and a sense of style that got the point across with out going straight for the jugular. “Bitch, you should sit on my face like a toilet seat” and “Almost drowned in the pussy so I swam to her butt” ARE ACTUAL FUCKING LYRICS NOW. I gotta admit the last one made me laugh… it was a sad laugh, though.

The worst part is, I’m old as fuck now and I have kids. That means I might be scanning through the stations and have to explain to my seven year old why someone was in a swimming pool full of kittens in the first place, much less trying to get to a butt. Now, I’m not for censorship, mind you. I’m just baffled as to why this dumb-ass shit is on the radio in the first place. There are SO many talented, -real- artists in the hip-hop underground that should be getting that airplay. They rap about introspective, deep shit that actually has a meaning in their lives, but we get spoon fed garbage by the industry.

Honestly, if your boss came over to you and just started telling you about how much money he makes and then jokes about how broke you are by comparison, you’d probably punch him in his bitch-ass chin and quit on the spot. Why, then, would anyone who’s not a fucking moron want to listen to stranger talk that same shit on the radio or in a video? It fucking baffles me! I couldn’t give a shit less about your Ferrari, bitch. I drive a 2003 Galant and I probably owe a few more payments on that motherfucker. You threw money at a stripper? Wow. Impressive. You made it rain. Amazing. If I was in a strip club these days I’d be throwing change at her ass and making it hail up in that bitch. Point is, no average person can relate to this dumb-ass shit.

What’s even funnier is that these retards that actually listen to the shit try and emulate the behavior. But they’re just as broke as me, so you see them in the mirror takin’ a selfie with a handful of one dollar bills, puttin’ plastic-ass spinning hubcaps on that ’87 Mercury, and teaching their daughters that it’s not only okay to be a skanky whore, it’s fucking ENCOURAGED. Kill yourselves, please. I couldn’t be more sincere right now.

Stereotypes exist and they exist for a reason. It’s because those stereotypes, false or not, are perpetuated on a grand scale by the mainstream. Anyone who doesn’t want to be lumped in with these hopeless sacks of deep fried fuckery must make that position extremely clear and stick to their guns when raising the next generation. I’m not hopeful, though.